Honoring Matt

A year ago yesterday my cousin Matt took his own life after struggling with the demons of war.  A few days after his passing, I wrote the following.  In honor of Matt, I share it again today.  Thank you for taking the time to read it.

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I'm sure it's been said to you before. "Never go to sleep angry at someone." "Treat goodbyes as if it might be your last goodbye." "Always let people know how much you love them." I, like most people, get the point of these sayings. But I never personally understood the wisdom behind these words. Until now.

As I wipe away tears reading and hearing stories about Matthew Marc Melanson, thinking about all the memories I have of him, I have a new understanding for letting people know how much you care about them.

For those of you who don't know, in the middle of the night on Saturday/Sunday, my cousin Matt took his own life. Matt was a member of the United States Army and served a tour of duty in Afghanistan. He had the courage and toughness it takes to be a soldier, but far beyond that, he was one of the most genuine people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Always having a smile on his face, Matt was the goofy and cheerful person who was impossible to hate.

A month or two ago, while hanging out at the bar that Matt and my brother Brian would go to, I had the pleasure of Matt offering to buy me a drink. Being out with him for the first time since he turned 21, I will never forget the smile and excitement on his face when he said, "Can I buy you a beer?". This was Matt.

That night, just like every other time I spoke with Matt, he was sincerely interested in what I had to say. And whenever he spoke, it was easy to pick up on the authenticity of his words, surely knowing that what he was saying was true and heartfelt. He was kind, goofy, caring, and understanding. Matt was the person that I always felt at ease with because I knew he liked me for who I was, no matter who I was.

For someone who loved, and was loved by, so many people, it is hard to believe that hidden behind his infectious smile was someone who felt alone in dealing with the demons of war.

While I have not been to war, my experiences in Haiti and working in a hospital have been extremely difficult for me to deal with at times. I know the overwhelming, crippling feeling of believing that you are alone in this world and that nothing you do matters.

However, I also know the tremendous feeling of being reminded by someone, knowingly or unknowingly, that you are not alone in this world; what you do does make a difference; and, people do care about you.

This is why, in honor of Matt Melanson, I urge you to call, text, visit, mail or email anyone you might think has forgotten how much you care about them. Let them know how much you care about them, or simply say "Hey, I was thinking about you today.  Hope all is well."  For you, it might not be a life-changing moment, but to them, it might make all the difference in the world.

R.I.P. Matthew Melanson. ~Your smile will always be with me.~