A year ago yesterday my cousin Matt took his own life after struggling with the demons of war. A few days after his passing, I wrote the following. In honor of Matt, I share it again today. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
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I'm sure it's been said to you before. "Never go to
sleep angry at someone." "Treat goodbyes as if it might be your last
goodbye." "Always let people know how much you love them." I,
like most people, get the point of these sayings. But I never personally understood the wisdom behind these
words. Until now.
As I wipe away tears reading and hearing stories
about Matthew Marc Melanson, thinking about all the memories I have of him, I have a new
understanding for letting people know how much you care about them.
For those of you who don't know, in the middle of
the night on Saturday/Sunday, my cousin Matt took his own life. Matt was a
member of the United States Army and served a tour of duty in Afghanistan. He
had the courage and toughness it takes to be a soldier, but far beyond that, he
was one of the most genuine people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Always having a smile on his face, Matt was the goofy and cheerful person who
was impossible to hate.
A month or two ago, while hanging out at the bar
that Matt and my brother Brian would go to, I had the pleasure of Matt offering
to buy me a drink. Being out with him for the first time since he turned 21, I
will never forget the smile and excitement on his face when he said, "Can
I buy you a beer?". This was Matt.
That night, just like every other time I spoke with
Matt, he was sincerely interested in what I had to say. And whenever he spoke,
it was easy to pick up on the authenticity of his words, surely knowing that
what he was saying was true and heartfelt. He was kind, goofy, caring, and
understanding. Matt was the person that I always felt at ease with because I
knew he liked me for who I was, no matter who I was.
For someone who loved, and was loved by, so many
people, it is hard to believe that hidden behind his infectious smile was
someone who felt alone in dealing with the demons of war.
While I have not been to war, my experiences in Haiti and
working in a hospital have been extremely difficult for me to deal with at
times. I know the overwhelming, crippling feeling of believing that you are
alone in this world and that nothing you do matters.
However, I also know the
tremendous feeling of being reminded by someone, knowingly or unknowingly, that
you are not alone in this world; what you do does make a difference; and,
people do care about you.
This is why, in honor of Matt Melanson, I urge you
to call, text, visit, mail or email anyone you might think has forgotten how
much you care about them. Let them know how much you care about them, or simply say "Hey, I was thinking about you today. Hope all is well." For you, it might not be a life-changing moment, but to them, it might
make all the difference in the world.
R.I.P. Matthew Melanson. ~Your smile will always be
with me.~